10 Things I've Learnt Having Depression
So it’s been a month now that I started this blog and so far I only have one introductory blog post. With each passing day of not being productive, I was getting more and more stressed and the idea of becoming a blogger seemed impossible and pointless. But fortunately, there are moments when I have peace and clarity as fleeting as they are.
As part of my meditation, I have started to learn to “talk” to things that are causing me pain, where you personify the pain or situation you are dealing with. I believe that certain things happen for reasons we don’t understand, so I asked my depression why it was here, what it’s trying to teach me; kind of like having a hypothetical conversation where you fill in the blanks. Here are 10 things that I’ve learned from suffering from depression.
1. BE PATIENT AND DO NOT RUSH YOURSELF
Most people by no fault of their own tend to be naturally more sympathetic to others when they have a physical wound. Having depression is like having a invisible wound that just won’t goddamn heal, it hurts all the time, it affects your ability to concentrate on pretty much anything, even on things you thought you liked. And because of this, others who may not know how debilitating depression is will not always take you seriously and it’s easy to give in and get frustrated about the negative, misunderstood and false stigmas of depression. But only you know how you feel, so only you know what is best for you at any given moment. I have learnt to ignore the pressure to be productive. Even when I was taking medication for my depression I was still getting moments where I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything. Even it’s as simple as getting something from my kitchen to eat. I’ve found that it’s just so much simpler to go with the flow. Do what you can, when you can. If I try to force myself to do something and then I don’t do it, I then feel even worse because I then just end up feeling like I failed at the simplest thing, and that is a major step in the wrong direction. Always take your time and be gentle with yourself. Practice patience.
2. WHAT YOU EAT MATTERS
Long story short. We are what we eat. Cliché but true. Stay away from alcohol, processed foods and simple refined sugar. There is no quick fix for anything. There is nothing wrong with taking medication for depression but it is not always the answer. Personally antidepressants just made me feel worse and even more out of control. If you are feeling up for it, try and learn which foods are good for stabilizing your mood. I know this can be really challenging because when I’m feeling shitty all I crave is shitty junk food. But awareness is key and when I’m having a good day I try to stay on a healthy streak, if I eat healthy for a day I’m more motivated to do the same the next day and the next. Also side note- people always say to stay away from caffeine if you have depression but I think it really depends, I find that if I stick to just one cup of coffee or caffeinated tea a day than I’m fine. Eat good to feel good.
3. MEDITATION IS YOUR BEST FRIEND
Perspective is everything. Always strive to have an attitude of gratitude. Often when something bad happens no matter how big or small I just become so overwhelmed by emotion, oftentimes I can’t even differentiate what I’m feeling and then I just feel numb. It helps to think that you are not your emotions. Emotions come and go, some are fleeting but we tend to grasp onto the negative ones, try to separate yourself from the emotion and become a witness to it. We have emotions but we are not necessarily our emotions. We are how we react to those emotions. Instead of trying to ignore a negative emotion instead try to submerge yourself and commit to it. I know that sounds counter productive but the sooner you go through it; understanding what it is you are feeling and why. The sooner you can take actions to change the situation. Most of the time we latch on to anxiety, fear and anger because of a lack of understanding, of others and ourselves.
BONUS TIP:
Look into breathing exercises. Seriously.
I practice Rise and Radiate weekly following along with @libberated
4. DON’T EXPECT ANYONE TO UNDERSTAND YOU
Don’t expect anyone to make you happy. Your happiness is your responsibility. You are responsible for how well the people around you understand you. There’s nothing wrong with straight-up telling someone what you want in any given situation. Give up the fantasy of people just doing things out of the blue that they think will make you happy.
5. EXERCISE IS KEY
This really doesn’t need much explanation. When we exercise, our body releases chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins affect the receptors in your brain that reduce the perception of pain and also create a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine, it reduces stress and anxiety. I like working out after breakfast to set the tone for the day.
Try yoga. Even the kind you can do right from your bed!
6. THIS TOO SHALL PASS
The light is always there. Perspective. Perspective. Perspective. If you only focus on the negative then that’s the only thing you will see. This is not always an easy task. But know that nothing lasts forever. If you’re in a bad situation, take comfort in knowing that it can’t last, and sooner or later it will pass. Most of the time our overactive minds tend to start creating situations that almost never happen. Instead of thinking of what could happen learn to live in the present moment. Practice being mindful. I like to think of it as touching base with reality. If I’m freaking out about something or feeling anxious for no reason, I try to take notice of the little things around me, like the texture of my quilt, the way the sunlight hits my plants, or even the silence of the room. When we immerse ourselves in our current reality and move away from the never-ending images in our mind that’s when we can then begin to take control.
7. BE KIND TO YOURSELF
More often than not you are always going to be the harshest on yourself. But if you don’t treat yourself with patience and kindness then how can we expect to be treated well by others? Suffering from depression is hard, at times it can seem like you are in a never-ending nightmare where your thoughts and emotions don’t align. So instead of constantly beating yourself up about how you didn’t handle a situation well, or whether you wasted another day in bed, think instead that you are constantly doing the best you can because if you could you would.
8. YOU ARE NOT ALONE
You aren’t alone in your suffering of depression. According to healthline.com 350 million people suffer from depression worldwide. Oftentimes it can feel very isolating but in reality, much of mainstream lifestyle is unhealthy, unnatural, and overwhelmingly hectic. There are people who have depression who can still remain productive and live a normal lifestyle. But for those who can’t, remember that there are an increasing amount of places you can go for support. You need only ask. Seeking help for depression is an act of strength, not weakness.
9. DON’T EXPECT TO BE HEALED OVERNIGHT
It’s a process of constant habitual self-care and mindfulness to overcome depression. Just as you know to brush your teeth twice a day or have three meals a day. You have to prioritize managing and maintaining your thoughts and emotions. This can all seem like a lot of work and can mean different things to different people. For me, I need to take short breaks throughout the day from whatever I’m doing to meditate. I’ll play a guided mediation from an app or YouTube or just make a cup of tea and checking in with myself to analyze how I’m feeling emotionally/physically and why.
10. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK.
END OF STORY
Depression is a struggle. It affects everything. For me, it got to a point where I couldn’t recognize myself. It felt like the emotions I was experiencing and the thoughts I was having were not my own and I couldn’t control anything. Depression drains your energy, your motivation and can make you feel like you want to completely withdraw from the world and live in perpetual isolation. This is why it’s so important to take small steps every day so you can gain some sense of control in the long run.
